Sequoia's Last Days

So when we found out that Sequoia had cancer in July, we really didn't think she had much time considering the symptoms she was having. But, most of the symptoms seemed to clear up, and to our surprise she made it past her 13th birthday a couple months later. Her health did slowly decline over the months, and we knew that we would have to make that dreadful decision of putting her to sleep. Mike kept telling me that it was time, but I didn't want to hear it. She had a great way of hiding her pain and discomfort. One day I did come home and she had been stuck on the floor with a bowel movement under her. That on top of falling more often, and being scared to go down the stairs in the backyard is when I came to the realization that the time was near. We discussed a time that would be good. I wanted to schedule it on a Friday since I don't have work, and I could go home and cry my eyes out. We also wanted to wait till after Liam's party because we needed to focus on that, and not be sad about Sequoia. So, I had made the appointment for November 13th. The first part of the week, she had a few pretty good days, and we both were kinda second guessing our decision. But later in the week she did have some more accidents in the house, and was falling more, so we did feel it was the right time. Wednesday evening Mike took some pictures of me and Sequoia. The following morning she had another accident in the house, and fell several times on the floor. I cleaned it up, and as me and Liam were leaving for the day, I asked him to say 'Bye Doggie', which I do most mornings...he usually will say 'bye' but this morning he said 'Bye Doggie'. It was bitter sweet because it was so cute, but I also knew it was the very last time he would say 'Bye Doggie' to her as we left the house. That evening when I returned from work, she was not right at all. She could not get up, and her head was tilted to one side and her eyes were moving rapidly back and forth. I noticed that she had vomited on her blanket too. We had thought that maybe she had a stroke and/or that these were symptoms of her body shutting down, and that she might pass on her own that night. We took turns all evening petting her and comforting her. I gave her the rest of the steak that Mike had cooked up for her, and surprisingly she ate it all! Mike got a tarp and we set it up in the bedroom under her blanket. He stayed up pretty late checking on her. We were unsure if she would make it through the night, but to our surprise she did. We got her packed up in the car and stopped at Grandma's house to drop off Liam. We let him say 'goodbye' to her, but it seemed he was a little afraid to because she wasn't the Sequoia he knew. We got to the vet's office and Mike had to carry her in. For many weeks before this moment I wasn't sure I wanted to be there when she was put to sleep. I leaned toward not being there because I felt it would be too difficult for me to see her like that. But, after thinking about it, and wanting to be there for her if she passed the night before, I decided that I did want to be there for her in her last moments. It all went fairly quickly...we asked about the symptoms she was having, and he said it wasn't a stroke, but could be from the tumor spreading to her spine or brain. He had a large syringe of pink stuff, and she didn't fight or struggle while he administered it. Mike was holding her head and she 'fell asleep' before the syringe was even done. She went very peacefully, and we were relieved that she was not suffering any longer. We stayed with her for awhile and gave her kisses, and told her we loved her. When we picked up Liam at Grandma's house as we were going to the car he pointed to the car and said 'Carsi gone' (Carsi is what he calls her because Sequoia is kinda a hard word for a 23 month old.) We were shocked that he even was aware of what was going on! Anyway, we decided to have a private cremation for her, so we will be getting her ashes back in a beautiful engraved cedar box as well as a ceramic paw print. We also requested that we get all the bolts from her hip surgery back. I will be glad to have her remains with us as a reminder of her wonderful life we shared with her.